Monday, July 11, 2011

I think we have a new star for "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew".

By jove, at last a story I know something about.  Rock musicians, bass players and the crazy fuckery that drugs can make you do.

Mike Todd, bassist and background vocalist of the neo-prog band Coheed and Cambria had a complete What The Fuck Was He Thinking? moment today in Massachusetts.  A few hours before the band's show at Comcast Center in Mansfield, Mike decided he was a little low on his drug of choice.   So, you're a rock star.   You know what to do.  You snap your fingers and some underling roadie or guitar tech goes out and finds a dealer and gets you what you want.  (In the event you forgot to have the "drugs to be provided" language stated in your contract rider.)

  Mike Todd.  Sadder but wiser. 
When you do a drug stickup use a stolen car. 

Coheed and Cambria must be on the low rent tour because Mike was jonesing and had to take matters into his own hands.  Mike walks into a local Walgreen's and demands some Oxycontin.  And talk about high tech.  He wrote the robbery note on his cell phone and stated he had a bomb so hand it the fuck over.  He actually made a pretty good score.  Six bottles.   Sometimes downers like Oxy can make your thinking a little foggy (they don't call it Hillbilly Heroin for nothing) and Mike made his getaway in (are you ready?) a taxicab.  Mensa Mike was quickly arrested at the venue and was charged with armed robbery and possession of a controlled substance.  The show went on as scheduled sans Mike who will be replaced for the remaining tour dates.

Bass players, in my experience, are quietly crazy, the whole fucking lot of them.  Most of the ones I've known were slaves of the demon rum, but Oxy gives a nice buzz I'm told.

Luckily I sobered up before that particular vice was available.

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